why???

17.11.12
That few day both of us keep watching how people propose, and wedding video.
Suddenly feel like want to marry... xP
Don't know next time how he propose to me leh???
Will it surprise???
But my dream propose is can at a very large lavender field...
+ snow-ing...
But actually all of this wont happen de...
Because here is Malaysia...
Actually all this are not the most important the most important is the dialog that he want to say with me... hehe...
I dun want ppl help him to prepare what to say...
I just wan what he say is came from his truly heart...
I want to know how much he love me...
Because his love to me is important then lavender field + snow...
But izit he will understand????

Should I hapi o not???

09.11.2012
Today I also don't know whether I should happy or not...
The thing that make me happy is because of today is my beloved mummy birthday...
And there are so many people celebrating with her...
And we brought her favorite ice cake ( BASKIN ROBBINS )... Mints + Vanila
But the thing make me sad is I dream that Bebe together back with Yu Ting...
This make feel so sad...
My dream like reality...
I feel that he still love Yu Ting...
I feel that I just the replacement of Yu Ting...
I feel so sad...
Why the CHONG YUIE THIEN always and keep disturb-ing my LIFE????
What I pay to her is more than what I done...
But why she still like to keep disturbing me???
Why????
Can anyone tell me how????
How only my Bebe will fully love me????
Or he already try his best to love me????
Why I until now still can't feel the LOVE????
Izit I too stupid????
Last time he won't beat me but now he will...
I feel like want to cry....
I really don't know I should happy or sad....
Who can tell me???